Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
My Mother's Daughter
My brothers and I have an ongoing joke where we pass our Mother off on one another. We'll say, "That's YOUR Mother". It's mainly when she has done or said something off the wall. Which happens pretty regularly. So she tends to get passed around a lot. LOL.
As I've gotten older, I realize more and more that my Mom and I have a lot more in common than I would have ever believed. I definitely get more than my good looks and great hair from her. As kid and teenager there was no way in the world I would have ever believed my Mom understood anything about how I was feeling or what I was going through.
I mean how could she? She was Mom. And it was a different time and things were done differently now, and blah, blah, blah. It's funny how often that is said. And we're always so wrong. True, the drama kids face today may have a different look but it's still the same drama. It's the same things I went through, and my Mom before, and her Mom before her. So I'm grateful that when my Mom said I would be okay and I would get through it, she wasn't just trying to make me feel better. She knew what she was talking about.
I've learned that in so many ways my Mom and I have lived the same life. We both are readers and revel in our solitude. Both have funny appetites that call for everything at one point and nothing at all, the next. We both were "Guys Girls", meaning we hung with the fellas more so than the girls. We both love our solitude and sleep. We firmly believe in sleeping.
My build is all my Mom. My slightly bowed legs (no slightly to hers though, she's full on), my milk chocolate soft skin, and my great hair... All her. I get my love of life from her. My ability to forgive and let go as well as my ability to take people at their best and not dwell on the worst because in the end we all have our bad moments . All her. We love deep. And when we love, we love for real. We've both had heartache. We've both felt like outcasts and that no understood us.
And as I've recently learned, we've both been irreparably hurt by someone that we never would have thought would hurt us. And when we confessed the hurt, no one believed us.
That is the one thing I wish we didn't share. That is the one thing I wish neither of us had to experience.
Some things we go through, they are like a mosquito bite. Annoying but pay it no mind and it's not lasting. You feel in that moment and for a little while after but it goes away. Other things are like a cut. It hurts. You feel it deep, It takes longer to go away and even when it does the scar is still there to remind you of it. We have the same scars.
I think as children, one of our greatest fallacies is that we tend to forget that our parents aren't perfect... That they've made mistakes and bad decisions and gone through some things just like us. But as parents they consider it their duty to shield us from those things. And it's not an act of deception but of protection.
Parents Protect. It's what they do. It's what they were made for. Sometimes we can feel like that protection is too much (and sometimes it is), but they do the best they can. And as children we need to be more appreciative of that. They won't always be right. But their as right as the can be with the experiences that they've had. I appreciate my Mom and her experiences.
She's the reason I'm so GREAT! ;-)
As I've gotten older, I realize more and more that my Mom and I have a lot more in common than I would have ever believed. I definitely get more than my good looks and great hair from her. As kid and teenager there was no way in the world I would have ever believed my Mom understood anything about how I was feeling or what I was going through.
I mean how could she? She was Mom. And it was a different time and things were done differently now, and blah, blah, blah. It's funny how often that is said. And we're always so wrong. True, the drama kids face today may have a different look but it's still the same drama. It's the same things I went through, and my Mom before, and her Mom before her. So I'm grateful that when my Mom said I would be okay and I would get through it, she wasn't just trying to make me feel better. She knew what she was talking about.
I've learned that in so many ways my Mom and I have lived the same life. We both are readers and revel in our solitude. Both have funny appetites that call for everything at one point and nothing at all, the next. We both were "Guys Girls", meaning we hung with the fellas more so than the girls. We both love our solitude and sleep. We firmly believe in sleeping.
My build is all my Mom. My slightly bowed legs (no slightly to hers though, she's full on), my milk chocolate soft skin, and my great hair... All her. I get my love of life from her. My ability to forgive and let go as well as my ability to take people at their best and not dwell on the worst because in the end we all have our bad moments . All her. We love deep. And when we love, we love for real. We've both had heartache. We've both felt like outcasts and that no understood us.
And as I've recently learned, we've both been irreparably hurt by someone that we never would have thought would hurt us. And when we confessed the hurt, no one believed us.
That is the one thing I wish we didn't share. That is the one thing I wish neither of us had to experience.
Some things we go through, they are like a mosquito bite. Annoying but pay it no mind and it's not lasting. You feel in that moment and for a little while after but it goes away. Other things are like a cut. It hurts. You feel it deep, It takes longer to go away and even when it does the scar is still there to remind you of it. We have the same scars.
I think as children, one of our greatest fallacies is that we tend to forget that our parents aren't perfect... That they've made mistakes and bad decisions and gone through some things just like us. But as parents they consider it their duty to shield us from those things. And it's not an act of deception but of protection.
Parents Protect. It's what they do. It's what they were made for. Sometimes we can feel like that protection is too much (and sometimes it is), but they do the best they can. And as children we need to be more appreciative of that. They won't always be right. But their as right as the can be with the experiences that they've had. I appreciate my Mom and her experiences.
She's the reason I'm so GREAT! ;-)
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