Lessons Learned

I try to make it my business to treat every life experience as a Life Lesson. Whether it is good or bad, happy or sad, I aim to make sure I learn the lesson from the experience. This is especially true of relationships… both friendly and mate-related.

I'm happy to be able to say that though I may not have realized it at the time; I have learned something from every relationship I have been in. Whether it was something about me, men, or love in general, I take the lesson and apply it to my life in whatever capacity it is needed. I like to think it has made me a better person.

I won't bore you with tales of ALL of my "love gone wrong" experiences but there are a few that stand out. Generally, these are the ones that lasted longer than a minute. 

I thought about changing the names to protect the not-so-innocent but then said whatever. This is my blog, my thoughts, my life. They were a part of it and not a secret part so... *shrug*. 

In no particular order, the lessons I've learned through my attempt to find everlasting love:

Brandon and I had more of a pseudo relationship. We were never really together though we kind of acted like it over the course of a few years. Mainly when were between other relationships. From Brandon, I learned that everything can line up perfectly and things still are not meant to be. We were MADE for each other... but we weren't. No matter how much we wanted it to work, it never did. We too are still friends. 

Terrence was the first guy I ever thought I loved. I mean he was my FIRST. And unfortunately I was blinded by that love. Now don't get me wrong, that blindness was self-inflicted. He was always honest... his brand of honest anyway. We attempted relationships over the years when we both in-between others. It never lasted long.  From Terrence, I learned that Actions Speak Louder Than Words. Terrence could be a politician, his tongue is that smooth. He says all the right things but when it comes time for action, there is nothing there. We don't talk anymore, but I would say we are cordial when in each other's presence. 

James and I got together kinda by a fluke. A friend was interested in him but he was interested in me. Spending time with them trying to get them together actually just made us feel each other more (terrible I know). James came with Momma issues, Baby Mother Issues, and lazy man issues. From James, I learned that putting your all into making someone else's life easy as possible is only good if they are doing the same for you. 

Twain was my longest relationship to date. We started off as friends and that eventually led to more. We lasted 2 years. Because we started off rough due to some slight wrongness on my part, I did everything thing I could to make him happy. That included changing me. From Twain, I learned the worst thing you could ever do in a relationship is lose yourself. I gave up every part of who I was to make him happy yet I was miserable. It ended badly but I still have love for him. We're friends now.

Now I don't want you to think that I am bashing these men, because that is not what I am doing. They are generally good guys… they just weren't good for me. Or rather, we weren't good for each other after a while. I don't regret any of the time spent with any of them. If it wasn't good while it lasted, it had its good moments, and for that I will always be appreciative. 

Every life experience is a lesson. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson. Sometimes it’s an easy one. Sometimes it’s a lesson in heartbreak. Sometimes it’s a lesson in how love truly triumphs. You never know until you go through it. 

I know people that are out here avoiding relationships because they don't want to risk getting hurt. What they may not realize is there is a lesson in that as well... one of fear. You can't live your best life being fearful of what might happen. You have to take a chance. If it works out, cool. If it doesn't, look for the lesson. That way you'll know what to do the next time you are in that situation. 

I've learned a lot about love over the past 10 years. But I've learned even more about myself. I LOVE love. I love the experiences love can bring. I've learned that love comes in different forms and is different for everybody. Love heals. Love hurts. But it is something that we all need to survive. 

It is as vital to us as breathing.