To Be or Not To Be... Seen?

You ever have those moments where you make an off-hand comment, typically meaning nothing but upon further scrutiny really says a lot? This happened to me recently. 

I was talking to my guy about the day out I had had with my friend Kellee. It was a typical "Girls Day" that included shopping at various stores, eating, girl talk, and of course checking for guys. I was particularly interested in sharing the part about the guys because it had occurred to me that day that I no longer was that girl. I no longer go out with the intention of picking up a guy. I realized that this was because I felt my guy provided what I needed so I no outside interest was necessary. I thought it cool to share this particular point of interest with my guy because I figured it would put a smile on his face. (It did :-)) 

As I was sharing the interaction between my girl and one of the many guys we'd encountered that day, my guy asked if any of the guys had showed an interest in me? 

My immediate response was "No, Guys don't see me when I'm with Kellee." 

It was automatic. It was honest. But it wasn't until I noticed the confusion/disbelief on his face that I realized how much weight my comment actually had. 

Kellee and I are both pretty brown skin girls that wear glasses and have natural hair (though I'm still transitioning). She is slightly taller than my 5'4 1/2" in and has legs for days. That is where our similarity in looks ends. Kellee is a size 7 and I a size 24. She's also very outspoken and will start a conversation with anybody. I'm more quiet, more sit back and watch.

I can't tell you how many times we've been out and approached by a guy(s), that speak or acknowledge me as an afterthought. It wasn't something that I paid much attention to. In fact,  I've always laughed about it or even made a joke because it never surprised me. 

Anyway, it wasn't until I said that to my guy that I realized that somewhere along the way I had come to accept being invisible. I've never been one that had to be the center of attention but I've always held my own. I've lost that. And I don't like it.  

Shut Up!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7C9MpYs0T8


I was recently involved in a Male/Female P.O.V.(point of view) conversation and other than the subject matter, there was one other thing that stood out to me... The other women involved would not SHUT UP!! I find it hard to believe you can hear what someone else is saying if you are continuously running your mouth.
I love engaging in debates with men because I like hearing their P.O.V. Plus, one of the best ways to learn about men is to listen to them talk. Of course, the action word in that statement is LISTEN!!
Far too often, I've heard women complain about the fact that men don't listen to them or are unable to communicate well. My question, Are You Listening? Or, are you so intent on proving your point or saying your piece that you are constantly over talking your partner? No one is should have to yell over you or fight to be able to share their thought.
 It's already a general belief that men don't like to talk. But, I can't help but wonder if that's because they can't get a word in edgewise...
The lesson here...
You can't hear if you're are always talking so, SHUT UP!!!